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妈,你和我爸离婚吧!你所有的不快乐,孩子都感同身受

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This year, two children from friends and friends participated in the college entrance examination.

She chatted with her a few nights ago. When she asked her child about her grades, she sighed and said:

"I finally got it out!"

Yes, children are bitter, adults are tired!

Every parent who has accompanied the child through the college entrance examination will understand the meaning of the word "熬".

And the sigh of a friend has another reason.

Although in the eyes of their parents, their husband and wife are respectful; their love is in front of the children; but her relationship with her husband has long been a stranger.

She is really squatting every day, eager to get rid of her marriage after the college entrance examination.

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It is often said that marriage is the tomb of love. How many people's love dies in the grave?

But the woman's nature is to put the family in the first place, not to be forced to give up a marriage.

Especially with children, even if they have no feelings, they always feel that family breakdown will have many unfavorable factors for their physical and mental growth. Many couples will live hard for their children.

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How many parents have chosen to divorce after the college entrance examination, how many families have already been turbulent before this.

According to the statistics of the civil affairs department: In addition to the high incidence of divorce after the Spring Festival, the child is also the peak of divorce after the college entrance examination.

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So, in the face of a hopeless marriage, divorce after the college entrance examination is really the best choice?

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Marriage is good, children know it

xxI remember that last year, a female candidate in Anhui had more than 80 points in her college entrance examination, and the first sentence she said to her mother was: You and my father divorced.

The mother was amazed at her daughter’s abnormal behavior and said, “Is it happy to be stupid, and my parents have been married so well.”

"You are divorced. I am growing up now. I can take care of myself. Don't pretend that you are doing very well. You are not happy together. I know better than anyone else."

The daughter’s words made the mother burst into tears.

It turns out that the child knows that the mother's forbearance is for herself. She has already had an insight into her parents's affairs, but she has been acting with her parents.

The relationship between husband and wife is good, the children are in the eyes, in mind.

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I have a friend who has something to do, let me pick up my daughter.

In the car, our husband and wife just joked, I pretended to marry her husband a few words, her husband squinted for mercy, let me concentrate on driving.

"Your parents are so funny, you are so happy."

At this time I heard the voice of my friend and daughter in the back seat.

"When my parents are at home, they rarely talk about it."

From the rearview mirror I saw her eyes bright and bright, but her face was full of loss.

Although a friend carefully maintains a marriage, how a family that has no love before can not always bring happiness to the child.

Her daughter lives with her parents every day, but she does not feel the heat of life.

In the TV series《小别离》of the previous years, the parents had agreed to divorce, but for the sake of the children, they still pretend to be a video of the daughter who loves to study abroad.

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Source:《小别离》

xx当聊天很开心时,我的女儿发现爸爸妈妈坐得太远.

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资料来源:《小别离》

你看,婚姻是好的,孩子就像一面镜子,但我们在欺骗自己。

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“如果我不是一个孩子,我会早早离婚”

这句话比离婚更伤害孩子

我曾经读过一句话,如果孩子可以选择父母,就会有很多没有孩子的父母。

这真的很令人担忧吗?

血比水厚,这对许多人来说是无助的。

因为真正塑造亲密关系的不是血,而是尊重和认可。

从我记得的那一刻起,我的父母经常打架,特别是在深夜,最害怕将他们一起撕裂。

在漆黑的夜晚,弱小的孩子,找不到帮助的对象,只能抱在一起,泪流满面.

绝望的感觉仍然记忆深刻。

当我在初中的时候,我写了一篇文章,表达了我离婚的愿望。

当老师向父母展示作文时,他们不同意。

特别是母亲,她说,“如果你因为你没有离婚,我仍然会吃这种痛苦吗?”

母爱是伟大的,但作为一个孩子,我们非常委屈。

我们突然觉得我们把父母拖进了幸福的生活,这是一个罪人。

尽管他们打得不错,但他们打得很好而且还没有分开,但这种内疚感一直陪伴着我。

一个并不真正“爱”的孩子,在爱的道路上,他选择逃避太多,总是想知道他是否值得被爱。

那些不良言行,过分举止会像伤疤一样深深刻在孩子心上。

更有许多孩子,长大之后,他们可能会变得敏感,自卑,情绪多变,缺乏安全感,甚至一辈子都带有情感缺陷。

这样的感觉,让很多人在爱情婚姻面前不断地退缩,走了很多弯路。

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父母留给我们的痛苦就像一座座高山横亘在心底。幸运的孩子一生被童年治愈,不幸的孩子却用一生来治愈童年。

在无数个冷清的夜晚,我们流着泪一步一步爬过去,才能获得新生。

因为总觉得父母无法摆脱不幸的婚姻,全是因为我的拖累,我是一个负担。

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离婚不可怕,不爱孩子才可怕

孩子越小,他们更敏感,更在意家长的情绪。

曼彻斯特大学心理学教授埃德。特洛尼克,曾经做过一个非常有名的静止脸实验

他让一个母亲先和孩子互动,孩子非常开心,积极响应;然后让母亲再换成一个没有表情的脸,无论孩子怎样做,母亲都一直面无表情

试验之初,母亲与孩子互动,孩子很开心。

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静止脸实验开始,母亲立刻收敛起愉悦情绪,开始面目表情。孩子发现母亲的不对劲,想办法引起母亲注意。

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孩子继续尝试与母亲互动,但是母亲仍面无表情。

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最后,孩子开始崩溃大哭。

XX这个实验的结果是,在母亲对孩子没有反应的时候,他的心脏跳得更快,身体的压力荷尔蒙增加,如果它继续下去,他大脑关键部位的细胞可能会死亡。

因此,我们的孩子天生具有本能。他可以区分父母的表达,感受父母的情感,并感受到他们是否被爱。

如果父母很开心,他会很开心。

如果父母受苦,他自然会生活和沮丧。他年轻的时候很难挣脱。当他很大的时候,他自然希望能够迅速逃离。

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每年高考后,很多孩子都会填写志愿者。他们不愿意选择远离家乡的大学。这可能是其中一个原因。

如果父母真的爱孩子?你会为孩子选择什么样的生活?

一位母亲曾经分享过她的经历:

她原本打算在儿子高考后承认离婚,但她没等。

因为他在与丈夫争吵后爆发,儿子说服我离婚。

那一年,我的儿子在上学的第一天。现在他的儿子是一所着名学校的大三学生。他非常开朗,我很开心。我们都感到非常高兴。

因此,“为了孩子不离婚”只是一个借口,快乐是如何不能伪装的。

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资料来源:《少年派》

同一位作家池莉也告诉了她和女儿的故事。

一旦他们的女儿十几岁,她和她的丈夫就分开了,但他们一直抱着女儿。

在女儿的期末考试被带到当地最好的高中之前,她不想给女儿看秀。

预计她的女儿没有看到他们离婚协议的意见,但她没有发脾气去实现父母的痛苦。

她的女儿考入伦敦政治经济学院,成为克林顿和曼德拉的校友。事实证明,池莉的离婚并没有影响到孩子们。

因此,如果您不喜欢它,它是您孩子的最佳保护。

即使它们彼此分开,也不要相互粉碎。

告诉孩子,父母仍然爱他,但他们不适合一起生活.

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完全的爱>完成“家”

我们总是说最好的“爱心教育”适合孩子,父母的爱,家庭的和谐。

但我们也知道生活不是诗歌,现实并不完美。

如果你的婚姻已经充满悲伤,但你为了孩子而牺牲自己以保持家庭完好无损,那只会留下无辜孩子心灵的阴影并带着沉重的心理束缚。

尹建利在《好妈妈胜过好老师》中写道:

在家庭中,如果父母不开心,孩子就不能幸福;如果父母生活在不幸中,孩子就不会幸福。

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对儿童的最大伤害,

不是家庭的不完整,而是爱的不完整。

所以生活不需要表演,不支持没有爱的孩子,但对于孩子,对我们自己来说,我们必须活得真实,真正爱我们的孩子!

相信我们全心全意爱的孩子,他并不脆弱,

请不要让他感到孤独,生活在成年人自以为是的世界里。